Creation of the Lotus Bee

A reflection on the first trimester of my Persphone Journey

As I steep in the post ovulation (luteal) phase of my third moon since the Conception of the Persephone Journal with some miraculous alone time for this mama of four, I am reflecting on the power of intention. My first moon, I created and refined a daily tracker sheet and moon phase journal prompts for the moonthly creative intent of the Persephone Journal. Once that was released and shared with a small cohort of lovely women, I began to use this creation with intent. With the menses following that first moon’s creation, I set the intention to release all scarcity stuck within my being. I worked with this statement:

i, give thanks for perfect health, abundant wealth and all i, desire to express myself;

i, release all scarcity.

The next day, my husband began to tear down the old mobile home on our property. The one that so closely resembled what I lived in as a child. It has taken him just one month to finish the tear down and take it to the dump, one load at a time. It feels like such a threshold for us. We intend to repurpose the steel frame as foundations for additional structures on our land, maybe a creation space and/or sauna. We will see how it unfolds.

The next creation phase, I still felt like I was sitting with the energetic shift from my scarcity release. This is still a work in progress, but the mobile brought it to the material plane. At the ovulation of my second moon, I was busy creating soup, bread and gifts as exchange for an Ancestral Visioning Ceremony. Cooking and making for others is another love of mine, so it was easy to put my energy here, but I wondered how it would contribute to the Persephone Journal. At the Visioning Ceremony, I was shown a lovely vision for the year of me just enjoying my family and the abundance of our homestead. I felt so held by the land that we co-create with.

The very next day I jumped into a fellow astrologer’s framework for working with your superconscious through the astrological lens of the 12th house. We recently exchanged services and when her offer for 12th House Superconscious Scripting came in shortly after, my body immediately responded to it. My birthday numbers were even in the name and pricing!

Through that framework, you work with a symbol or totem that you receive intuitively in relation to the luminaries or energy of your 12th house to rewrite your subconscious patterning about anything of your choosing. I won’t spell out her framework here as this is her baby, but you can read all about it through the link in the previous paragraph. It is quite affordable.

I immediately knew that I would be working with the lotus with regards to fertility and a peace dove came to me with regards to prosperity. I found it quite easy to work with the lotus as I already had been from some previous conflict integration work, but the peace dove proved elusive. I began doodling lotuses. I had to look up how to draw one before I could get the hang of it. Drawing is not my strong suit or chosen craft so to speak. I also drew a dove, but ended up with many strange proportions as I did. I did not give up though.

Just days after beginning with Nic’s 12th House Superconscious Scripting, I finalized another value exchange with a woman that offers intuitive business guidance. I will say that my choice to open the door for alternative value exchange for my astrology services has also opened the door for the Divine to bring me the most amazing gifts that I never would have looked for on my own. In talking with her, she drew attention to my Pearl, the 50th Gene Key activated by my conscious Jupiter in the Human Design framework. It is where prosperity is found. She felt like the message for the year from my ancestors to just be and enjoy the existing abundance in my life was a perfect way for me to unlock the gift of Equilibrium in that key. She stated that the path of Devotion was what I was being called to. This word really stuck with me.

The word Devotion came up again when I was reading through another colleague’s interpretation of the synthesis of my astrological Jupiter placement with the energy of the 50th Gene Key. This time, it described the out of balance manifestation as people-pleasing disguised as devotion. These are not words found in the Gene Key book under this key, but I knew they were important for me. It’s funny, all of these frameworks hold so much wisdom, but they are not set in stone. The real magic comes when you open yourself up to your own divine journey. The words, symbols, people, etc. that you need will just come right on in at just the right time.

One day, as I was drawing the lotus, I noticed it’s resemblance to a honey bee and the lotus bee doodle was born. I kept doodling this lotus bee. I have two on my whiteboard and many more throughout my notebook and margins. I did a search on the web and found a dead website for lotus bee jewelry and a sanskrit story about a bee that flew into a lotus as she was closing. The bee did not want to hurt the lotus so she settled in for the night. Soon after, an elephant came and uprooted the lotus eating the flower and the bee! This was not really what I was looking for, but the message was that whatever you do, life keeps on happening around you. As far as I can tell, the lotus bee is unique to me.

During the luteal phase of this second moon, I received a dream from my late father. He passed the same day we sold our home to move up here. In the dream, I was in a college library and could feel that my dad was approaching. I had a sense of overwhelming guilt about leaving him to his own devices as he was dying. When he came to me, he gave me a hug. I told him that I was not ready to let him go and he said, “I know.” I of course woke up crying, realizing that in the chaos of moving while simultaneously wrapping up his death, I hadn’t finished grieving him. This brought me the gift of my next menses release. I would release all that is already dead. I chose these words because my grandmother also died months before our move and it felt like the right simple statement to work with. It also encompassed all of the miscarriages, including another failure to create this moon. As my menses was only a couple days late, I thanked my body for not dragging me through another 12 week rollercoaster. I had explicitly asked her not to.

One night, during my menses phase, I woke up and found myself circuitously running through many thoughts. Then it struck me with the sudden realization that the dream of having a baby girl was never mine! I had been devoted to this dream for my mother-in-law. So, the little unborn girl that started this whole things was never even my desire. My mother-in-law had two boys and we have four plus my sister, who married my husband’s brother, has also had a son. With every pregnancy, the pressure for a girl was playfully thrown at us, but I allowed the pressure to become a torch that I carried. I cannot describe the lightness I feel with this new innerstanding. Talk about people-pleasing disguised as devotion, and it’s not her fault. It’s mine!

I am now an open divine feminine vessel ready to discover what my desires are. It feels really nice to be here. So, this ovulation, I prepared for the sacred alone time and integration phase I am now lovingly steeped in. I realized that the lotus bee is my Devotion and she has moved gracefully from one lotus flower to the next until she finally found my lotus flower….the one held by the peace dove.

This coming menses, I release the pressure to perform or produce for others.

As the first trimester of this Venus cycle approaches its second trimester cusp, my attention shifts to unpacking the magic of Venus which serendipitously activates the transcendental state of Devotion through the 29th Gene Key in my Human Design Chart.

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